Standing Still

Have you ever felt as if you were being made to stand still? Imagine that, to feel like that meanwhile being made to take notice of all the ungratefulness that consumed your everyday life. That is where my recovery began.

MInd the issues that I had started before the year 2006, my true recovery began in April of 2011. That journey led me over 3000 miles from everything that I had ever known. So here I was in the mountains in Mexico, no drugs, no family, no friends, no nothing. Well, that was a real eye-opener to say the very least. I snorted pills and I did that my very last time before crossing the border into Mexico. Without any kind of medical advice or prescription pick-me-ups, I detoxed the hardest way possible. While en route there I don’t remember much just going through these towns and realizing the level of poverty a lot of these people were living in. The next I remember arriving where we were going and seeing the exact same thing. The next stop was what they called a Pueblo. Went there and then back to where we were staying. Dirt floors laying at the edge of those mountains were normal for la gente alla. The emotion that I felt as I sat on a roof-top smoking a cigarette, crying like the biggest baby ever was life-changing. I never in all my life felt so ungrateful as I had felt in that moment.

I stood still for six years and was made to see the gratitude that I had failed to see before. I learned to speak, cook and live as they did. The ways of the people from the pueblo. I cooked for everyone every day, that was my contribution. I was slowed downed and in a sense let heal. I learned very wise things from some very wise individuals who treated me as if I was family. They were good and bad people everywhere.

So now since that was what happened to me, it happens to be a part of my story. But If you are struggling, nothing is impossible with God. I didn’t find God in a church or anything of that nature. He found me when I was standing still being grateful for everything that I had and didn’t have.

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