My life is like a book, some pages are happy and others not so happy. One thing that I have learned through it all is its the little things that really count. So many things that we spend time a lot of time and energy trying to accomplish, they actually don’t mean anything. Spending your life wasting away at a place of employment that don’t appreciate you only to buy things that can be replaced. What means more to you a house full of good memories or things?
I have never been a selfish person. Even at my worst I have always tried to make the people around me smile. Why would I not though, especially since I have experienced all emotions that I may see in others. I literally can’t stand to think that I was the cause of someone else’s pain or hurt. Although I have been before, unintentionally. It hurts and my whole life has been full of that kind of pain, the hurtful kind. I would never want to see anyone go through. Through my 42 years I have learned it has always been the small things that make a difference and mean the most.
When I was on my worse path it was due to loss that surrounded my life. I didn’t know how to deal with it. I started dealing with myself in 2011. When I finally got back home on October 15, 2016, I had to start to deal with the things that I drowned out before. An example is the fact of me not really dealing like I should have with my fathers death. About three years ago, my mom had given me a Christmas village that he loved to stage every year on a fireplace they had. I came home and put it together the way I remembered. Mid way I realized that my father was the last person to pack this village away. The flood of emotions hit me and I cried every time I turned this little village on. It plays music also. All those good memories came back to me and then the pain of the loss. Something the sober me never dealt with. Since I have been back things that don’t mean shit really I have accumulated easily. House, cars, all this materialistic stuff. How is based on the simple fact of me being a builder. I don’t like being stagnant. I am a hard worker and I have never had that mommy and daddy money to jump start my life. Material stuff can be replaced so easily but those memories can not. At the end of life what you do as in the little things is what is really going to matter. The kind of person you are and how you treat others. The memories you make with the people you love and care about. Make them good and give them something to smile about when they think about you. The greatest gift you can give is love especially when you are the one not use to that feeling. To love is great but to feel love and be loved, nothing is better.
Stay Blessed Y’all!!